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August 2021

Time's Up

January 19, 2014
Begone Spirit of Rage! You've taken up more than your share of time in my head today. Yes, things were said that I wish I could counter, What was said was unjust. It was unfair. It was wrong. But no great social ill will be righted by this feeling of angry vengeance. Its time is past. I cannot go back in time to redo the conversation. However witty, caustic and RIGHT are the comments I now wish I had made, they cannot be made now. All the eloquently angry and sweeping speeches I wish I had made cannot be made now.

So Lord, give me the grace to let it go now. Give me the patience to understand that those who misunderstand, or deliberately provoke, will go now unanswered by me, and that is OK. Help me to know that this is not weakness -- that I am choosing to let these slights, these injustices go because they are directed to myself and I have that freedom. Help me to remember that my righteousness in your eyes does not depend on the opinion of others.

Begone Spirit of Rage! I have no more desire to hash it all over in my mind, to think and rethink every nuance. I cannot remake it, it remains what it was, it is as it shall be.

Lord, replace this rage with the grace and eloquence and patience to know that if I follow you as closely as I can, if I am to you as true a daughter as I desire to be, then it does not matter what others say. There is no need to change their minds. The only need is to do as you desire.

What You Need to Know

September 5, 2013
I am finding more and more that I need to edit myself when people meet my children for the first time. I know many parents struggle with this, not just those of us with Aspies or children with special needs. My Aspie son is 16 - almost 17 - and I find myself still wanting to "explain" him to other parents.

I know that what other people see is not what we (his family) know about my son Ken. They may only see his unwillingness to look them in the eye. Or his tendency to answer them in monosyllab...
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Grown Up Babies

April 30, 2013

or Why are Immature Adults so Annoying?

I can’t stop using this phrase in my head—Grown Up Babies. Do you know some? The adults who behave as if they are still on an elementary school playground? The ones who perfected manipulation in Middle School and still practice?

The Snark-About: You have two friends. They don’t like each other. The Snark-About is the one who tries to win you over to their point of view about this other friend. Failing that, they become best buddies with the ot...

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Stronger Than We Know!

November 10, 2012
The VERY long race for the Presidency is over. On election day, I posted on Twitter a simple truth about how I decided who to vote for.

I voted for the 1 in 88. Speak up for what you care about. Vote, Please vote.

Surprisingly, it was picked up and retweeted all over the place! It took me a bit to figure out why, but here's what I think:

I think we've forgotten how powerful we actually are. Think about this: 1 in 88 people in the U.S. are diagnosed as being on the Autism Spectrum -- approximate...

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June 6, 2012
If you've been reading along for a while, this story may be familiar. It's the story of my daughter's first encounter with prejudice and the ways in which it affected her.

I wrote this in June 2011:

My daughter is a dancer. She loves to sing, she loves to act--but above all these--she loves to dance. She has been dancing almost every minute of her life. She dances to the bus stop in the morning. She dances in hallways and on the playground. She turns flips and cartwheels from the bus to our do...
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A Stupidly Optimistic Parent

May 7, 2012
This has been ringing in my mind for a month or so. Its a quote from one of my favorite movies - CLUE, starring Tim Curry, Martin Mull, Madeline Kahn and a host of other brilliant comic actors. Yes, it is a movie based on the board game. 

The line comes from Madeline Kahn's character, Mrs. White. It is revealed that she has had several husbands, all of whom have died under suspicious circumstances. When she is asked, "What was your husband like?", she replies:

             "He was always a stup...
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Where do you live?

March 12, 2012
Its a simple question, but much like Robert Fulghum, I can't stop myself from playing with simple questions. Robert Fulghum devoted almost an entire chapter to answers to the question, "What do you do?"

But my favorite is "Where do you live?" 

#1 answer : In God's Presence. Its what I try to remember daily, although I often forget. I live in God's presence. That's my address, that's the ground of being, that's the background. I can't do anything apart from God. Not just because of my vocation, ...

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My Aspie Son and Dancing Daughter

February 28, 2012
My Aspie Son... Those three words begin so many conversations in my head, in my work, in my writing. My oldest child, my teenager, my boy. The one who only started sleeping all night by himself THIS YEAR at age 15. The one who still needs my complete attention every morning just to get him dressed and out the door.

My Aspie Son... If I say it, and you know anything at all about Autism and the Spectrum, you probably already have a vision of him. You may be way off in many ways, but you probably...

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A Valentine to my Children

February 13, 2012

Its's a Magic Number

We have THREE in our family and that's a magic number.

You may be chuckling if you remember that song from "SchoolHouse Rock." It's true for my family though--we are three and that's our magic number.

We are a triangle family -- Mom and Valerie and Kenneth -- one at each point of the triangle. 
Sometimes we are EQUILATERAL -- all three of us occupying an equal amount of space and effort and time in the family.
But that's pretty rare.

It feels pretty good when we get here. ...
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Blessed Are the Meek?

January 23, 2012
Who will inherit the Kingdom of God? In the beatitudes, Jesus said the blessed meek would do so. Strictly speaking, this means trouble for my son.

As an Aspie, my son would really never be described as meek.

adjective, -er, -est.

1. humbly patient or docile, as under provocation from others.
2. overly submissive or compliant; spiritless; tame.

I thought the following article* explained him quite well:

There are both positive and negative aspects to the personality of Asperger's indivi...

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